for the past few days, i've been digging my own grave. i honestly have no idea what i'm doing with my life and the sole idea of living just seems to elude me.

sometimes i get the trace of meaning. the things like 2.35 wake up calls to pay tribute to the tv box and the blues in the form of Chelsea players. the panic attacks i get when suddenly i remember my PW results coming out on friday. the lack of endurance in running faster. that's when it hits me, that perhaps life seems to be made up of the little things that YOU find meaningful. okay, and maybe i'm just sprouting rubbish.

thursday. played floorball again. 3-4 in favour of the other team. i scored a goal (hooray!) and Lucas is like so super pro with his ball control and he shot 2 goals! he's super super good.

friday. PW results. school did extremely well. 1. hard work paid off. went to swenson's for JTS. nice food. nice company. good day.

and basically i spent the whole weekend doing stuff that had nothing to do with studying or preparing for As. was also hit with the realization that i'll be stopping my piano soon. end may i would guess. and also that sleep is good for the soul. been bumming around, either stoning or sleeping. i think i should be feeling guilty but i'm not too sure if that's really what i'm feeling right now. instead i'm thinking of what i'm going to be eating for dinner.

i haven't been to town to shop or walk walk for more than 3 weeks. the only time i've been there was a quick trip to PS for my grade 8 cd and the JTS, which did not involve shopping and walking around. want to go there soon at any rate but i'm quite pressed for time. days are filling up my friend. with stuff that perhaps i don't even want to consider.

liquid eyeliner dries fast. way fast. especially for my slow slow hand and unpracticed movements. hey, don't get the idea that i HAVE eyeliner. but the salesgirl was trying to talk me into buying stuff when all i need is gloss. (which thanks to Natalie i already have) so if you ever want to buy that stuff, go with the soft pencil that doesn't need sharpening.